I have to make a confession. And since no one reads my thoughts, I figure this a safe place to do so. (I am just kidding, I thank each of you who takes the time to read my wandering thoughts)
My confession is that I am scared of dying. I am absolutely terrified. It isn’t the actual process of dying, although I am not looking forward to that, but it is the thought of not being alive. As a woman of faith, my heart tells me that I have nothing to fear. My heart tells me that I will take my final breath here and then be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven. My heart tells me that I should excited for what comes next:
- I will get to see the Son of God, who died for my sins.
- I will be in the presence of our Father.
- I will be reunited with all those who have gone before me and meet the ancestors who helped to shape my life.
- I will be saved.
God will redeem my life from the grave; He will surely take me to Himself. Psalm 49:15
But, I am still scared. My heart may know those things, but my head can’t get wrapped around it. My head tries to understand how this can all be true. I am afraid that I will be forgotten and that I have not done enough here to have made a difference.
We are constantly told that we should do our best not to “leave a footprint” on the earth. Environmentalists tell us that we each are doing harm to the planet and should try to leave without there being any sign that we were here. In that way, I do hope that I leave the world better than I found it. But the “footprints” I do want to leave are the ones that are on the hearts of those I have known. I hope that I have lived a life that has been pleasing to God, and that He will be as happy to see me as I am to see Him.
Give your fears over to God, He is up all night anyway….. Author unknown
So tonight, I am going to give my fears to God. Something that is very hard for me to do. I am going to ask Him to help calm my fears and help me to find better ways to spend my time. I am going to try to live a life that pleases Him, and look forward to the day I see His face.
Thank you for all you have given me. Thank you for making a promise to us that Christ died so that we may live with you in eternity. Please help me to trust in that promise and stop worrying about what happens after this life, knowing Jesus has already died so that I can live.