I can’t believe how long it has been since I last posted. I have been talking to God, and He said He forgave me, but said that I need to get back into my routine.
The truth is, I have been feeling guilty about writing every day about my wonderful life. I have been thinking that I might offend someone who is struggling, someone who is in pain, someone who can’t see a light at the end of their dark tunnel. I remember those dark days when I really didn’t want to hear (or read) about the beauty of spring and the joy of life. So, I have been praying about how to continue to write my praises and prayers without hurting anyone’s feelings.
How do I reach out to help those who most need to hear about the love of our amazing God?
My nightly routine to fall asleep is not to count sheep, but to count my blessings. I started doing it when things with Ryan had really taken me to a sad place. I knew that Ryan would want me to find joy again, so I just tried to count the good things in my life. Some nights that list felt very short, I didn’t want to find good. Some nights is was hard to even be thankful for my next breath. Most nights however, my list is longer than my ability to stay awake.
This week I am back in Des Moines, sitting at my brothers bedside, at Broadlawns Hospital. Rob has had several surgeries over the past couple years to have his more and more of his leg amputated. He had a terrible infection that won’t quit. I am listening to him sleep, and wondering how to convince him that there is good in life and that God loves him. That is when I decided to start writing again. I need to hear from God too. I need Him to give the words that Rob needs to hear.
Please help Rob to heal. Help him to know that you are at his bedside. Help us to be your hands, feet and loving arms. Help the Dr’s and nurses do what is best for him. And please help us all to find peace in your loving embrace.