Sunday nights are usually my sleepless nights. I don’t why, but for as long as I can remember, Sunday nights are the ones that I am most likely to lay awake. My mind starts running and I can’t slow it down. I lay there and make lists about what I need to do, what I forgot to do and what I should do but probably won’t. I start obsessing about the dirty carpet, the messy room and the laundry piles. After I work through that, I start wondering the real purpose for my life. Believe me, once you go there, sleep isn’t soon to follow. Finding meaning in life isn’t something that allows your mind to drift to a peaceful place. At least not for me.
Last night I decided to just get out of bed and search the internet. Surely someone out there in cyber-space can tell me why I was put on earth. Surely someone has come up with the answer to that timeless question:
Why am I here?
So I asked the question to Google. That is where we are supposed to go for answers, right? There were a lot of websites that showed up with a lot of people asking the same question. Yet still no answer. I tried asking my phone, but it just kept saying it didn’t understand the question. I asked the dogs, but they just stared at me. So where do I go? When sleep won’t come and my mind is swirling out of control, who has the answers for me? You know the answer, but I will tell you anyway. I went to God’s word. I opened my Bible.
In 1 Corinthians 10:31 we read, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
God is sovereign, meaning that He is completely independent. He did not need to create us. He does not need us for anything. Based on this we might come to the conclusion that we are not important to God… that we are not needed and we have no purpose. But, that’s not the end of the story. God tells us in Scripture that we were created to glorify Him. That’s our purpose and that means we are important to Him personally.
So with that in my mind and on my heart, I went to bed. There is still things to do around the house. There is still a pile of laundry to be done and the living room needs dusting. But for one more night, I found rest. My mind was put at ease and I could sleep, at least until next Sunday.
With each prayer I offer, I try to bring myself closer to a life of peace. And yet as each new day dawns, I find myself struggling again. Please help me to find a life worth living, an inner peace worth sharing, and a heart centered on You.