Hate is such an ugly word.

When the kids were little, we tried to teach them when it was ok to use the word hate. We tried to tell them that it is such a strong word, that is too often overused. We told them it is one of those words that should be used sparingly. With that in mind, I will tell you

I hate the first day of school.

This is another one of those “poor me” blogs, so I will keep it short. Or at least I will try. You see, the first day of school is just another one of those reminders to me of what Ryan missed out on. Since we lost him, one of my least favorite days to go on Facebook, is the first day of school. He didn’t get enough “firsts”. No chance at his first love, his first car, his first day of college.

Today, I very simply pray that everyone gives their loved ones an extra hug.

Dear God,
I know that Ryan is with you. I know he is in a better place. I know that he is happy. But today, I wish he were still with us. I wish we were missing him because he had moved away to college. I wish we were missing him with the knowledge that he would be visiting us in a few weeks. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

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